Never Know
by Peeta Melark
Summary: Half a year after the death of Nico di Angelo, his friends decide to bring him back. He died in Tartarus, leading his friends to believe that he stayed there. But did he? Based on Season 6 of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer." This is in no way canon, seeing as Nico isn't dead in the books... Just for those readers who might get a bit jumpy at the words "Nico" and "death."
1. Bargaining

It was six months after Nico died that we decided to resurrect him. Now obviously it wasn't a good idea, but when have demigods ever had the best ideas, least of all me? It was a thick summer night where you could all but taste the heat. Annabeth knocked on my cabin door at eleven thirty-five sharp, a jar of blood in her hand, bloody bandages wrapped around her arm. Silently, she guided me through the darkness to the spot where Nico had been buried.

Thalia was there, her arm bandaged, as was Hazel and Jason. Piper handed me a small knife. In a series of confusing gestures, she told me to cut my hand and drip the blood into the jar. I did because, hey, I'm called "Seaweed Brain" for a reason and we _really_ needed Nico back. Earlier, Hazel had mentioned that she couldn't find his soul. She said that she couldn't see into Tartarus and she was afraid he was there. That was really what decided our little spell.

We gathered in a circle, Thalia kneeling in front of the tombstone, the jar in front of her. Each of us lit a single, black candle, holding it above the grave so that the wax would drip onto the earth. Thalia started the chant.

"_Hades, Lord of the Dead, we beseech you! Here lies Nico di Angelo, your son! Let him cross back to the land of the living! We need him!_"

Thunder crashed and rain started to pour down from the clouds. My candle went out and I fumbled to relight it. Thalia screamed, her skin crackling with electricity. The rain sparked against it but somehow didn't kill her. Annabeth's eyes flashed and she leaned close to me, whispering that Thalia's powers protected her. She wouldn't die; only suffer remarkable pain. It was a test. I thought it sounded like something I'd seen in a TV show once.

As the rain subsided, Thalia chanted desperately, pouring the blood into the ground.

"_Here is the blood of the Big Three. Let it appease you!_"

She picked up her candle and lit it, dripping the wax onto the grave in front of her. Thunder roared again. Her hands flew to her throat. She struggled to breathe, her body doubled over. Choking sounds came from her as she struggled. A greenish-black fog poured from her mouth, morphing into spiders, which ran straight for Annabeth. She screamed but didn't break the circle or drop her candle. As the spiders crawled over her, they disappeared, melting away into mist. Then it was all over. There was silence.

I felt a chill run up and down my spine.

"Shhh!" Hazel hissed. We all stopped breathing. There was a banging noise from under the ground, causing us to scramble away. The noise got louder and louder and louder until there was a splintering sound. The earth seemed to fall away as something fought it's way out. Hazel gasped, horrified.

"Nico!"

It dawned on all of us that we had left him in the grave. Annabeth and I ran to help as Hazel grabbed her brother's hand and pulled him from the splintered coffin. He looked awful. His clothes were dirty and his hands were bloody and covered in splinters and earth. He stared at us blearily.

"Where am I?" he asked.

"Home," Hazel said. He shook his head.

"No. No. Home is good. This isn't home. Home is nice and warm and I have family there."

"What do you man?" I think Hazel knew _exactly_ what he meant. He rubbed his eyes, smearing his face with blood and dirt. He sat down on a rock and put his head in his hands, crying. Words in a different language poured from the tears. Annabeth's lips moved quickly, translating what he was saying.

"It's Italian," she declared. "I don't understand much of it, but I'm guessing we've got to get him to the Big House _now_. He's going nuts."

"What'd he say?" Piper asked. Annabeth shuddered.

"He keeps saying that he wants to go home."

"Oh gods." Hazel ran forward and grabbed Nico's arm, pulling him to his feet. He stood haltingly and stumbled after her, all the while crying out in Italian. I hadn't even known he could speak it.

We carried him to the Big House where Chiron attempted to speak with him. He struggled and fought, all the while crying that he wanted to go home. Eventually Chiron was forced to give him a sleeping draught. As soon as it passed his lips, his motions became sluggish. Within moments, he was asleep. Hazel sat next to him, stroking his hair and singing a lullaby.

_My child, my very own  
Be not afraid, you're not alone  
Sleep until the dawn for all is well_

Nico stirred in his sleep, turning toward the sound of Hazel's voice. I had to admit, it was pretty good. Why hadn't she been there when we needed to get into the Underworld?

"Let's go, Percy." Annabeth took me by the arm. We didn't go back to our cabins. Instead she took me to stand by the ocean. For a while, we stood apart, letting the waves lap at our feet, staring into the horizon in utter silence. Then her arms wrapped around my waist and she leaned her head on my chest. She wasn't crying, just shivering. I could tell it took all her energy not to scream. She was angry.

"Annabeth?" I ran my hand through her hair. She nuzzled closer to me.

"Hmmm?"

"D'you think Nico was in Hell?"

A laugh. "Percy, you _know_ there isn't really a Hell."

"Yeah, but do you think he was in it?"

"Yeah."

We didn't talk for another ten minutes or so but it felt like longer. Our shadows grew longer and mingled with the sea. Annabeth sighed.

"We should go back…"

"Sure…"

Of course, we didn't go back. We stood arm in arm, staring away across the sea. Annabeth's breathing was slow and calm in spite of everything that was happening. She turned to me and planted a kiss on my cheek. I leaned down and kissed the top of her head and we just stayed there for a while, her hands around my waist, mine over her shoulder. Her hair tickled my nose. I sneezed.

"You're cold?" she asked. I shook my head.

"It's not cold out," was my reply. Annabeth shifted away from me, walking along the beach, swinging her arms at her sides. I followed her, mostly because I didn't know what else to do. Eventually, she and I were standing in front of my cabin. She kissed me.

"Goodnight, Percy," she whispered. I couldn't bear to let her walk off like that so I took her hand.

"I'll walk you to your cabin," I offered. Annabeth laughed.

"Thanks." There was no life behind it. Still, I walked her to her cabin, never once letting go of her hand. It felt frail in mine even though I had seen first hand how strong she was. Yet somehow I couldn't imagine her holding a sword. As soon as she kissed me goodbye and goodnight, I wished that I hadn't let her go, that we could have spent the entire night on the beach just holding each other.

The walk back to my own cabin was slow and miserable. Every step felt like my heart was being stretched and ripped. Every step took me farther away from Annabeth. I became more and more aware of how afraid I was that I might lose her like we'd lost Nico.

_Keep her safe_, I prayed as my eyes closed. _Keep her safe while we're asleep._ And I prayed that the gods would listen.


	2. They Can Never Know

In the morning, Annabeth was leaning over me. How she'd managed the get into my cabin unseen will remain a mystery to me, but I was glad she did. Her hair was tied back messily and she was fully dressed for the day despite the time being only around six am. Her eyes were cold and pained. I reached out to brush some hair from her eyes and she leaned into my hand, biting her lip to keep from crying. I could feel my own heart sinking too. It felt like lead.

"Good morning," she said hollowly. I echoed it with equal flatness. That's when it happened; we both broke down in tears. It felt like that first day at camp, when I thought my mother was dead and the world was falling apart around me. I couldn't remember crying like that in a long while, and it was kind of nice. Through the thick sobs, I managed to catch her concern. What if we'd done the wrong thing? She said she'd gone to check on Nico. He'd been almost worse than before, asking again and again if he was in Hell. Hazel was sitting with him when she left.

I got up. Annabeth left while I changed into my day clothes and we left for the Big House. When we got there, it was mayhem. Nico was screaming and thrashing, trying to get away. Hazel and Thalia were trying to hold him down, but fear made him strong. Annabeth and I rushed to help and Hazel screamed for Chiron. He too rushed to help, administering some sort of tranquilizer. Nico stopped struggling. He stared blankly up at the ceiling.

You know those times where something horrible has been happening and then there's the sun? Well that's what happened. Nico looked around and his eyes widened. He saw Hazel and Thalia and Annabeth and me and something stirred in his memory. He said,

"Am I home?"

Hazel nodded, letting go of his arm. "You're home."

Nico seemed satisfied. He started to laugh. It was hysterical, wild laughing, like he hadn't heard what real laughter sounded like. I didn't want to listen as much as I could tell Hazel did. She had screwed up her face in some kind of deep emotional pain. Nico continued to laugh. His body shook violently.

"So that's it, huh?" he asked. "I'm home now?"

Hazel nodded; hope gleaming in her eyes. "You're home and I'm going to take care of you."

Nico swung his legs over the side of the bed. We didn't try to stop him when he stood up. He was shaking horribly. His legs would barely support his weight, even though he was _way_ too skinny to be healthy. Hazel grabbed his arm.

"No…" he muttered. "I need… alone time. I-I just want to be alone."

Hazel let go and he left. I could hear him struggling to get down the steps. Annabeth moved back to my side, looping her arm through mine protectively. I felt safe with her there.

As we left, Annabeth led us to the beach again. I played with the water, making it spell things like "I love you," and "you're beautiful." She giggled, looking more alive than she had the night before. I wondered if it was the daylight or the sweet nothings I was spelling… even though I spelled a few things wrong.

"I miss it," she thought aloud. I looked at her.

"What?"

She smiled wistfully, her hair blowing gently in the ocean breeze. "Normalcy—or whatever cheap imitation I had. But ever since… you went missing things have been odd. The grey streaks are gone, Nico's come back from the dead and it's all so strange. I just wish it could be the same as it was the day we saved Olympus: you and I together, in love… happy."

The last word struck a chord. It was loud and blaring, a right-in-the-face insult that reminded me I wouldn't be happy for a while. I wouldn't be happy until I knew Annabeth and I would be for forever, happy and comfortable. I wouldn't be happy until she was happy. Maybe I wouldn't be happy until I was old with grandkids. I could have my moments of happiness, but those moments often left me soulless, an empty shell of the moment before. Sometimes I would feel that happiness when Annabeth laughed, or when I rode the waves out into the ocean, or when I got a letter from my mother telling me that everything back home was fine. I'd felt happy when I'd seen the doors slam shut, but then Nico fell and it did too. It was a real, close to home loss. He was my cousin, my friend.

Annabeth kissed me. I almost pulled away in surprise. Instead, I kissed her back. I could feel her arms shaking as she wrapped them around my neck. She was frightened. I was too. No one knew if Nico was dangerous and no one was brave enough to say anything.

"Percy, he's been through so much!" Annabeth's voice cracked. "What do you think happened to him in Tartarus?"

I couldn't say. Nico could have been through any number of torments, most of them we wouldn't have been able to name or imagine. He would have suffered at the hands of monsters and they would have made his spirit break. The thought occurred to me that it might not be the best idea to leave him alone.

**OOOOO**

When his friends weren't watching, Nico crept into the forest. He sat down in front of his grave and sobbed. He looked around at all the trees and the bright sunlight and he wanted to leave.

"Are you okay?" asked a voice to his left. He turned around. Juniper.

"I'm going to ask for _money_ next time someone asks me that. I just want to be alone."

"Oh." Juniper sat down next to him, her pretty face scrunched up in concern. He sighed. She wasn't going away any time soon. It didn't bother him really. He felt comfortable with her around. Finally, she said, "I don't really know what happened to you, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. We're all sorry you had to go through that."

Nico almost choked. "What?"

"Tartarus," she explained innocently. "I've never been there. How long were you there for?"

"How long have I been gone?"

"Six months."

"It was longer, I think." Nico stopped, deciding whether to go on. "But wherever I ended up, I was happy. I was happy… and loved and content. And it was warm. Time didn't really mean much. My mother was there, even if Bianca wasn't. I-I know about the Underworld, and I think I was in Elysium. And my—my friends took me out of there." He stood up, walking away without looking back. "They can never know."

**A/N:**

**Just a reminder... this is based on "Buffy" season 6. Some of the dialogue will sound REMARKABLY similar. Don't panic if you recognize a quote here and there. **


	3. After Life

For a while, Nico didn't respond to us when we called his name. He wouldn't touch food or water and Hazel practically had to sit on him to make him eat. Every night, one of us would knock on his cabin door to administer ambrosia and nectar in hopes that it would make him feel better. Slowly, whatever minimal color he had returned to his cheeks, but there was something missing. He wouldn't smile or frown or do much of anything. His fighting was still remarkable, but there was no emotion behind it.

"I don't know if he's going to be okay," Annabeth confided in me one afternoon as we sat on the beach. "Maybe we did something worng."

I stared at her, my mouth hanging open. "Wrong like how?"

"Like maybe he came back messed up. I mean we don't know what he went through in Hell."

I thought about this. It was true; we didn't know what he'd been through. We didn't even know if he'd been through it at all.

"I'm going to go talk to Chiron," I said.

On the way to the Big House, I heard shouting coming from within. Chiron's voice was angry and low. The other was Thalia's.

"What did you do?"

Thalia responded in kind. "I brought him back! Aren't you proud of me? Are you even a little bit impressed?"

Chiron laughed incredulously. "Oh," he spat. "I'm sure you've made quite the impression!"

Thalia sputtered. "Well, I brought him back! I was amazing!"

"You're reckless." I saw Chiron leave the Big House, his hooves clopping loudly on the porch. He didn't look at me as I ran up the steps. When I found Thalia, she was fuming. I could tell that touching her wouldn't be the best idea. Energy crackled in the air around her, ready to jump out at anyone who went to comfort her. She glared at me.

"Have you come to yell at me too?"

"Uhh… no." I shook my head. "I actually came to check in and see if you were okay."

"I'm fine."

"Okay…" I just stood there, wondering if maybe I ought to leave. Thalia looked at me coldly.

"He called me an amateur," she spat. I could feel the anger rolling off of her in waves. "Arrogant. A child. I'm _not_ a child. I'm powerful—more powerful than he could even dream."

This scared me, hearing Thalia talk like that. Sure, she had a point. She was powerful and it was good for us to know that, but she was also wrong. The power she had was corrupting her; I could tell. The spell she had used to bring Nico back hadn't been the first, had it? There had been others. I backed away, making for the door before she could see the realization on my face. Thalia didn't stop me.

Annabeth was waiting for me outside. "What happened?" she asked. I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards the beach. When we got there, I plunged into the waves, letting the water calm me. Annabeth waded in after me, struggling as the water pushed against her. She looked scared; forcing me to remember that she was a daughter of Antena, meaning the ocean didn't like her much. I told it to leave her alone. She sighed, looking visibly relieved.

"Thanks."

"No problem." I waded back to her, picking her up and holding her in my arms. She leaned her head on my shoulder, swinging her legs gently in the water. It splashed good-naturedly and she giggled. I chuckled too.

"It likes you," I said. "The water."

"Only because it likes _you_," she shot back, leaning even farther back in my arms. Her hair dipped into the water. I watched it; entranced by the way it moved with the current and the waves. "I'm just the tag-along."

I tried a new tactic. "Just because my dad doesn't like your mother doesn't mean the water hates you! It just—"

"It just doesn't particularly like me."

"Well, yeah." She had me there. I let her drop back into the water. With a cough, she scrambled to her feet. I thought she might hit me or shove me. Instead, she just held my hand. Wow. A couple of years ago even, she would have all but killed me. But so much had changed.

"We should get back," I said. Annabeth nodded. This time, we did leave. We had to eat dinner, didn't we?

I dropped her off at her cabin and waited for her to change into dry clothes. When she came out, she was wearing a soft, grey dress with a silver owl necklace and owl earrings. She was balanced lightly in grey sandals with owl buckles. I thought she looked gorgeous—and was that _makeup_?

"What's this all about?" I asked. She grinned.

"Wouldn't you like to know."

She was right. I _did_ want to know. When I got to the dining pavilion, there were other girls dressed like that. Piper was wearing a strapless pink dress with heart jewelry and pink, heeled shoes. She was talking to Hazel, who had donned a black masquerade gown with a skull mask, barefoot with only a key ring in her hand for jewelry. Near them was Katie, clothed head to toe in leafy green. She, like Hazel, was barefoot. A wreath of leaves sat on her brow, a basket of wheat in her arms. Other girls were dressed as if to represent gods: Thalia, dressed in a stormy, cloud-like dress; a girl from the Hermes cabin dressed in sea green, floaty lace on her arms. I started to catch on right as Chiron stepped up to the platform.

"Let the festival commence!" he said. Festival? I was confused until I saw thirteen girls run up to the spot where Chiron had been standing. They struck poses. Annabeth held a spear in her hand, gazing solemnly ahead. Hazel stood to the side, her hand outstretched, holding the keys of death. Thalia sat in the center, holding a lightning bolt in her hand. The Hermes girl sat to her left, a trident leaning beside her. Piper hung from a Hephaestus girl's arm, her eyes full of wonder and love as she gazed at Clarisse, who gripped a spear and shield. Then they all started to move. Thalia rose from her chair, laying the bolt aside. She took the arm of the girl next to her, a girl wearing rich purple, and twirled her. They danced a duet to silence. Then, as the girl in purple stepped aside, she took the arm of Katie, twirling her too. Katie's face was blank and smooth, her dancing languid, as though she were under Thalia's thrall. Briefly, a blonde girl danced across the stage, flowers held lightly in slim fingers. Hazel moved, taking notice of the girl, grabbing her and spinning her around. The girl screamed without sound, reaching out for "Demeter" and "Zeus."

The dance went on and on, telling different myths by way of movement. Finally, it was Annabeth's turn. Her movements were refined and graceful, each one wisely chosen. I was completely in love.

Piper had cast aside her pink heels for pointe shoes. I noticed that she was the only one who was really at all dancing in the ballet style. Hazel's dress tore away to reveal a shorter one with black leggings and an off the shoulder top. She danced frantically, disjointedly almost. Katie's was all close to the ground, very connected to the earth. Thalia did lots of jumps and skips. The girl in sea green used her arms a lot.

When they finished, everyone clapped. Only Hazel remained on stage. Slowly, another figure crept up behind her. With a gasp, I realized that it was Nico. He, like her, was dressed head to toe in black. Keys hung from his belt.

They did a duet, both of their dancing disjointed and forceful. It ended with the two of them standing back to back, Nico taller than Hazel, Hazel holding the keys to her heart. Again, we all cheered.

It was pretty clear that it was going to be an evening of talented people making me feel like crap when Annabeth and some guy from the Apollo cabin took the stage again. She had changed into a white dress and tied her hair behind her in a braid. This time, they danced out the story of Tristan and Isolt. Annabeth had changed into pointe shoes, performing most of the dance on her toes. I felt a stab of jealousy every time she fell into his arms or allowed him to lift her up. Towards the end, she glanced at me, her eyes smiling. When she fell, her hand reached briefly towards me.

After the performances, I ran to pay my respects to the performers. Annabeth accepted a kiss, Nico a pat on the back, Hazel a hug, Thalia a polite nod and Piper a word of congratulations. Nico didn't seem to want to stick around because he ran straight for the door as soon as everyone sat down to dinner. Hazel grabbed him and sat him at the Hades table. She told us to hold him there while she got him a plate. He didn't argue until she tried to give him meat.

"No," he said. "It makes me feel sick."

She nodded, replacing both the fork and the food. Nico looked at her. I was sure he was tired from the dancing when he said,

"I'm not tired. Stop looking at me like I'm broken!"

Nico pushed himself away from the table and ran in the direction of the cabins. Only Hazel followed. I wondered where my own brother was. Was Tyson okay? Did he miss me or did he have new friends?

Annabeth broke the awkward silence.

"We're thinking of starting a dance troupe, anyone in?"

We all raised our hands—except for me, that is. Thalia nudged my hand into the air. I resisted the urge to move away from her, still shaken by the argument earlier. Why couldn't anyone see how dangerous the magic was? Hadn't they watched that show? That witch had gone nuts! Thalia was going to go nuts too!

"Great!" Annabeth started discussing her plans to build a better seating plan in the amphitheater and her new designs for expanding a couple of cabins. She lost me at the first square root. Eventually, I walked her back to her cabin and said goodnight. She looked weary as she shut the door behind her. I decided to visit Nico in the morning, ask him if he was okay with being back. I wondered again as I fell asleep whether we'd been wrong in bringing him back.

**Hey, readers!**

**In honor of "House of Hades," coming out today, I decided to post another chapter! Please tell me what you think!**

**The next chapter will be "Once More With Feeling!" If you've got any ideas for who sings what or if I should use non-Buffy songs, then please tell me! I won't take specific song suggestions-mainly because I probably won't know the song-but I will think of things if I should veer away from Buffy songs. Yes. Percy will sing. **


End file.
